Dxddy's Diary 🤘

What is it about those 3 words that people love so much? "I love you". Girls literally obsess about being told they're loved but what they fail to realize is there is a complete difference in "I love you" and "I'm in love with you". "I love you" can be meant in multiple different ways: a friend, a family member, or a romantic connection with someone but "I'm in love with you" means so much more it means you're willing to be anything for that person. It's knowing that person is fucked up but you want to be fucked up with them.   Love isn't a fairytale where you can just fall in love with a stranger and live happily ever after. You have to build that bond with them. You have to build that trust, that connection, to where you know if you fall, they'll catch you so you don't get hurt. It's seeing that person at their weakest and most vulnerable point and saying "I never want to see them like thi...

One big beautiful city, 2.72 million people, and she was the only thing my eyes were focused on. At the beginning of summer I told myself that I wouldn't fall in love again. I also told myself I wouldn't fall in love with her. It kind of reminds me of my favorite movie, a walk to remember, in the movie she tells him the only condition in them hanging out or being friends was that he couldn't fall in love with her and with a cocky grin he agreed to the condition. A little later in the movie, he falls for her but this movie isn't like every other romance cliché. In the end, before her death, he marries her. My point in telling you this is, I was that boy who smiled a cocky smile and said I wouldn't fall for her but then I started becoming infatuated with the way her eyes looked so beautiful when the sunlight hit them just right. I fell for the way her eyes lit up just by my sudden presence in the room. I fell for her scent and the way she looked while sh...

Growing up my dad was always working and my mother well I did not meet her until I was 9 when my father gave me the choice to meet and stay with my mother for a while. Naturally, I chose to meet my mother and get to know her as much as I could so that is exactly what I did. Soon after I moved to Irvine, I got settled in and started to notice something was too good to be true. One night I woke up in the middle of the night to my mother being arrested for drug related charges and so I went to live with my grandmother. I was absolutely terrified and deep down so mad at my mother, I could not understand why someone would risk a relationship with their child for drugs. It seemed everywhere I went there were people who either dropped out of high school and started dealing drugs or stayed in Irvine and never even went to college. I became curious and asked my grandmother if anyone in our family had been to college and she said no. Well after my dad had found out what happened he came and b...

I was in 8 th grade when I finally realized I was lesbian, well I say realized but in reality I always had a feeling deep down in the pit of my stomach. I was absolutely terrified to come out to my family and friends, because my whole life all I had been taught was how being gay was a sin and all I saw on the news and on social media was how homosexual people were gross and completely wrong. So I decided to keep it a secret until one day my best friend asked me if I was, and all I remember was just breaking down and nodding my head. She sat that whole day, and helped me come up with a way to break the news to my parents. I got home and my stomach felt like it was literally twisting, but before I could come out to my parents my brother did and my dad just got up disappointed and walked back to his room. After seeing the way my dad reacted I was even more terrified than I was before because I didn’t want to disappoint my dad or let him down. I hid it for a couple years by talking a...

every day people ask me why i can easily hurt girls and simply not give a fuck, but the truth is deep down i know exactly how it feels. Where did it begin you ask? I'd say when i used to let people walk all over me . I honestly was not the... hm how do i put this? i wasn't the mo st attractive person ever then i cut my hair and it seemed every girl i had ever thought i wanted started to want me but what i learned is someone should want you for your heart and your soul not the way your hair is cut or how sexy your voice sounds or how "hot" you have become. after i learned that it became a requirement for someone to like me for something other than my looks.  but when has that ever worked out? i fell for a girl let's call her....speed. well picture this speed and i had been off and on since 8th grade. i was her shoulder to cry on. i was here waiting for her when her mother drug her out of school. im a sophomore. in a new school. around girls who seem to look ...